I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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