so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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