It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
