youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
