You made me cry and you don't even care
Christians are straight up FREAKS
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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