I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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