He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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