Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
