I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
