i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
