he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
