I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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