Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
