I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
