I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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