Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
