what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
