Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
