just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Small penises have feelings too.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
