So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
