I think im going to throw up on grandma
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
