so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
