A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
