You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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