scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
