Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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