Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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