dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You ruined the universe
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
