How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize