Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
