why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
