a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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