they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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