where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
