So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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