no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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