I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
