I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
