I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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