he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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