...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
