I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
