how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
