I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
