i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
