I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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