i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
