you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
