The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
