We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
