plz talk dirty to me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
